It’s on a Monday morning. I’m supposed to be awake; I must have missed my alarm. Only that I didn’t set one, of late my brain is losing it. I’m woken up by some creepy sound in my blanket, it must be my phone right? No, I left it charging.
My bed so wet, the last time I wet my bed, I was 8. So what happened? The sound comes up again. I try to reach deep into my blankets, my hand lands on a soft, slippery cold moving thing. I try to grab it, it jumps onto my chest… a frog.
I immediately jump out of my bed and land in water, a pool of water… in my house. Was I that drunk as to sleep on my swimming pool? No I didn’t drink last night and there’s no way on earth I could move my bed to the backyard.
There are so many of them, frogs, enjoying the serenity of my house now turned into a lake. As I walk through the water to reach the door, I stumble on something, a microwave, immersed in water. Did I just injure my feet? I’m bleeding.
The brown muddy water, now turns its colour to red. Mother nature at work. I proceed upstairs, only to realize, I don’t actually have a roof, my house so bare and scary. Blown away to only God knows where. Someone must have bewitched me.
My house so disorganized, the kitchen turned into the bedroom, the bedroom the kitchen, the living room the bathroom and the bathroom cut off. The house is now in pieces, scattered all over. Each piece decided to take a different route.
As I take a glance outside, I realize my house is moving, surrounded by water, uprooted from my compound, so I own an island. Only that in this particular one, houses float on water. Regards of the same I have to get to work.
What I used to call a closet, now harbouring rags. As I finish dressing, I have another mission to accomplish, to find my car keys. Actually I can’t. It’s getting late. Oh, I remember I left them in the car. I dash out, no need to lock the house.
I can’t spot my car where I parked it, I have to find it no matter what. Did it sink in the water? I’m shocked to see it floating in my neighbour’s yard. Mother nature will have to reverse and undo its mistakes. I can’t afford to lose my job.
I take an Uber, no soon had we started the journey, than the Suzuki Alto 800 starts to float on water. It can’t be. I get out and try my luck with walking, maybe I will catch a bus instead. I accidentally slip into a ditch, it’s time to employ my swimming tactics.
I lose my phone in the process. I can’t call in sick, am screwed. As muddy as I am, am determined to get to work. Finally, a bus approached, they can’t carry me. I have to take a motorcycle. When I reach at work, my boss is so mad.
I had an appointment with a very important client. My boss rebukes me, “I pay you to work, how you get to work is your problem”. My excuse can’t be tolerated, am fired. My mistake, getting to work late, untidy and losing a client in the process.
I bid my co-workers farewell. It’s called life. I proceed home, or at least what used to be my home. I have to salvage whatever little I can, and take a stride into the downs of the universe. As I step in, like I always do, I reach out to the lights. I get electrocuted.
The next I thing realize, I am in ICU at Kenyatta National Hospital. Who brought me to the devil and served me for dinner. I’m surrounded by a doctor and two nurses, my eyes blurred. With my fat tummy, I pray that I don’t undergo a cesarean section.
Finally, I wake up. My alarm so loud that my neighbours have reported me to NEMA thrice. So it was a dream, a bad one I guess. Indeed, when the unimaginable becomes unavoidable, the nightmare becomes the reality. Nairobi is flooding.